Showing posts sorted by relevance for query suicide. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query suicide. Sort by date Show all posts

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Suicide and Murder-Suicides

The investigative work continues and I am collecting more stories about suicide and suicidal thoughts among student loan debtors. This research has led to reading extensively on widespread suicide-murders and lone suicides in the U.S. Many of these tragic events are a result of financial disaster. Suicide as an answer to economic calamity has definitely spiked in recent years. While I realize there  are a number of complex reasons for why people commit suicide or contend with suicidal thoughts, there is growing evidence which suggests that increased stress, regarding one's personal finances, has led to a number of untimely deaths. More worrisome, how many more will take their own lives because of financial ruin?

Harold Pollack wrote a piece in August 2010 about the relationship between unemployment and suicide. Here's the most noteworthy data from that piece:

- In 2007 the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline received 13,423 calls

- In 2009 the calls skyrocketed to 57,625

If you are willing to share your story about suicide/suicidal thoughts and student loan debt, I'd like to hear from you. The subject is serious and sensitive, so I will not share your name or identity with anyone.

Finally, please remember that you are not alone, and that there are resources for you. If you are considering suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline immediately (1-800-273-TALK (8255). More information is available at their site.


Related Links (AEM and other publications  by me):


"Student Loan Debtor Confesses: 'I Think About Jumping Out the 27th Floor Window of the Office Every Day," The Huffington Post (Dec 20, 2010)

Debt and Suicide (Radio interview with Shared Sacrifice; originally aired 16 December 2010)

Suicide Among Student Debtors - Who's Thought About It? (17 August 2010)

For The Indentured Class, Suicidal Thoughts Are Not Merely An Individual Problem (22 October 2010)

An Angry Mother Vents (4 October 2010)

Other Related Links:

99ers band together to save a life (27 January 2010) 

Suicide Rates Up Since Recession Began, Debt A 'Way of Life' For 99ers (26 July 2010)

Tomgram: Nick Turse, Desperate Times and Desperate Measures (28 January 2009)

The Economic Crisis Is Getting Bloody - Violent Deaths Are Now Following Evictions, Foreclosures, and Job Losses (20 November 2009)


 

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Suicides and Student Loan Debt

In July of 2008, Barbara Ehrenreich wrote a piece entitled, "Suicide Spreads as One Solution to the Debt Crisis."  The article touched upon the housing crash, and  Ehrenreich highlighted several cases in which people took their lives when they knew they were losing their homes.

Ehrenreich discusses shoot-outs in the past, but these incidents often entailed groups of men barricading themselves in their homes and fighting it out with the cops. In recent history, however, people have been turning the barrel of the gun towards themselves. "Suicide," Ehrenreich explains, "is becoming an increasingly popular response to debt."

We need to have a national discussion about student loan debtors who have taken their lives. I already know of three individuals who, in part, committed suicide in response to owing student loans; they felt there was no way out.

A few weeks ago, and on the same day, I learned about two individuals who committed suicide. One told a connection of mine that her niece recently took her life after she had received a bank statement that detailed the amount of student loan debt she owed. While the reasons for why people commit suicide are complex, and there is not one cause for carrying out such an act, it is important to understand and discuss it on a sociologically level. On the same day that I learned of these two suicides, I spoke to a woman in L.A. who told me, "I am at the end of my rope." She too was suicidal. We talked for nearly two hours, and I brought up Ehrenreich's work.

"It's not irrational to make this decision," I said. "Many people make the wrong assumption that it is. That's false."

She agreed, and said, "it's not irrational. It's a logical conclusion." Before we got off the phone, she assured me that she wasn't there . . . yet . . . but she understands why people make the decision.

That said, I do not condone the decision, even though I understand why people are driven to do it.

[Note: If you are feeling suicidal, please seek immediate help. Tell people you trust, and call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1-800-273-TALK (8255)]

Having learned about these recent suicides, I am now concerned that more people are taking their lives and not turning to outlets such as the National Suicide Prevent Lifeline, AEM, etc., etc. for help. It is one thing to express suicidal ideations - many of us have done that - but it is another to outline a plan and carry through with it. Rest assured, when people express suicidal thoughts, I take that very seriously. But I am now wondering how many student loan debtors have gone through with it.

Interestingly, more of you would probably be dead if you didn't have co-signers. It's almost as if the student lenders devised this entangled, financial relationship with a family member or friend to use it as ransom. Now that's sick. I can't begin to tell you how many times someone has said, "If it weren't for my [insert family member's name here], I would have been dead long ago. But I can't leave them with the responsibility of paying my debt."

I know that things are worsening, that many of you are homeless, working as escorts, etc. But your life has a tremendous amount of meaning, and we need you here - with us - to fight back.

We also must overcome our shame about the subject of suicide, and openly discuss it. Individuals who are suicidal, or who have committed suicide, are not crazy.

I have tremendous sympathy for people who are struggling  in this way, or who have taken their lives and left loved ones behind, but Ehrenreich makes a good point, stating:

Dry your eyes, already: Death is an effective remedy for debt, along with anything else that may be bothering you too. And try to think of it too from a lofty, corner-office, perspective: If you can't pay your debts or afford to play your role as a consumer, and if, in addition -- like an ever-rising number of Americans -- you're no longer needed at the workplace, then there's no further point to your existence. I'm not saying that the creditors, the bankers and the mortgage companies actually want you dead, but in a culture where one's credit rating is routinely held up as a three-digit measure of personal self-worth, the correct response to insoluble debt is in fact, "Just shoot me!"
We have a dark sense of humor when it comes to discussing suicide. It's not nearly as dark an attitude as the Koreans have. For instance, kids used to take their little fingers and drag them across their necks like a little knife, and make a 'scccccccrrrrch' sound, when they did poorly on vocab quizzes). But this black humor is part of our weapon against an untimely, unnecessary death. We need to be honest about it, while keeping it at a safe distance. Those who have already exited the world don't have that privilege, nor do the loved ones they left behind.


Related Links


"Suicide and Murder-Suicides," AEM (Jan 30, 2011)

Debt and Suicide (Radio interview with Shared Sacrifice; originally aired 16 December 2010)

Suicide Among Student Debtors - Who's Thought About It? (17 August 2010)

For The Indentured Class, Suicidal Thoughts Are Not Merely An Individual Problem (22 October 2010)

An Angry Mother Vents (4 October 2010)


Other Related Links:

99ers band together to save a life (27 January 2010)

Suicide Rates Up Since Recession Began, Debt A 'Way of Life' For 99ers (26 July 2010)

Tomgram: Nick Turse, Desperate Times and Desperate Measures (28 January 2009)

The Economic Crisis Is Getting Bloody - Violent Deaths Are Now Following Evictions, Foreclosures, and Job Losses (20 November 2009)







Sunday, December 12, 2010

Mass Suicide?

Earlier this year J. Devoy raised the question of mass suicide among debtors in a piece entitled (yeah, you guessed it), "Would mass suicide affect student loan practices?"

The title is more than just a little worrisome, especially since I am currently writing a piece on the topic of suicide and suicidal thoughts among student loan debtors. Moreover, the number of emails I am receiving from desperate and suicidal individuals is terrifying. I've discussed the possibility of revolting en masse, and that's good when it comes to collective action. But nobody these days gives a crap about that on the Hill. However, collective suicide should be getting the attention of policymakers. But is it or would it? Probably not. They're too busy cutting deals for the rich. Who gives a shit about the poor and the indentured? Yeah. To hell with us. And I want to thank Roberto Rodriguez for caring  about the indentured educated class, too. Thanks, buddy. It's great to know that you care about our voice. Go. You.

At least Bernie Sanders gives a damned. We have one person inside the Beltway who hasn't been deafened by the roaring motors of lobbyists and cha-ching.

Here's a recap of my previous work on suicide:

-"Suicide Among Debtors: Who's Thought About It?" 

- "For The Indentured Educated Class, Suicidal Thoughts Are Not Merely An Individual Problem"

- "Addendum To The Recent Post On Suicide" 

- "Suicide"

Friday, August 19, 2011

Student Loan Debtors Band Together To Support Suicidal Woman

I asked people to offer their support to a young woman who recently said, if she doesn't find a job by Valentine's day, she will commit suicide.

She is, like so many of my readers, over $100,000 in debt, and at this point cannot see a future. She's not alone. Millions of educated, student debtors feel that their future has been stolen from them. But don't worry, AEM is now in its "big wave" phase, so we're going to get that back, and we're going to do it together.

The woman received amazing responses from people. It made me feel so lucky to be a part of this community. You are all so strong, caring, and supportive. Here are two highlights from those comments of support:

Leigh wrote:


Dear Liz,
There was a time when I felt suicidal, obtained the means, and went to the place I planned to kill myself, a small, remote fishing pond. I was deeply depressed, lonely, in great debt, and jobless. And on that day I had also been drinking. Remarkably, I could not do it. On the worst day of my life it changed. I had a small hope of a better life and that spark was enough to keep me going. It took a while, but hard work and some luck made things gradually improve. My life is much better now and I often return to that place, the pond, to remember how my life changed course there and to feel gratitude for whatever divine intervention happened there.
Hang in there, hold on, don't give up, consider all avenues of help, and find something to live for. I can guarantee that someday you will feel better about everything. Your life is precious even if it does not feel that way now. Liz, I wish and hope for you a better future and peace of mind.
It must be so powerful for Leigh to revisit the place where she almost took her life.

David said:


Hey Liz, 
I have to tell you that I suffer from depression right out the gate. One symptom I have is suicidal obsession. I made one attempt about 23 years ago, and I'm still grateful I didn't pull the trigger. My debt problems are huge right now as I have been out of regular work for over 2 years. My daughter has student loan problems that I cannot help her with as I once could have when I was employed making a good living. I have been plagued by these thoughts again. I have found that I must help others when that happens to escape this form of insanity. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I get help,professional help, as well as a support group. Helping others is the foundation of my life today. I was afraid of facing the future because I didn't think I could on my own, but then I learned i am not alone if I reach out to others, whether for help for me to help them. 
I am thinking of you and hope you reach out for what you need.
Love,
David

 I want to thank all of you for the outpouring of support for Liz. We need to continue having this conversation at the national level. We need to find those who are struggling, and offer them help, kind words, and a shoulder to lean on. While many of you might think of this community as an online group, I have met a number of you in person and can put a profile picture to a real human being's face. You are all real, and in the next coming months I plan on meeting more of you. Just the other day, I was invited to Wisconsin and I think I might just take the woman up on her offer. So, if you're interested in some meet ups with me, say the word. We'll make something work.

On a final note, I want Liz to know that I hope our words have been helpful. Hang in there, Liz.

Related Links

"Reader's Response To Piece On Suicide: "If I can't get a job by February, I will just kill myself on Valentine's Day," AEM (August 17, 2011)


"Suicides and Student Loan Debt," AEM (August 14, 2011)


"Suicide and Murder-Suicides," AEM (Jan 30, 2011)

Debt and Suicide (Radio interview with Shared Sacrifice; originally aired 16 December 2010)

Suicide Among Student Debtors - Who's Thought About It? (17 August 2010)

For The Indentured Class, Suicidal Thoughts Are Not Merely An Individual Problem (22 October 2010)

An Angry Mother Vents (4 October 2010)



Other Related Links:

99ers band together to save a life (27 January 2010)

Suicide Rates Up Since Recession Began, Debt A 'Way of Life' For 99ers (26 July 2010)

Tomgram: Nick Turse, Desperate Times and Desperate Measures (28 January 2009)

The Economic Crisis Is Getting Bloody - Violent Deaths Are Now Following Evictions, Foreclosures, and Job Losses (20 November 2009)




Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Reader's Response To Piece On Suicide: "If I can't get a job by February, I will just kill myself on Valentine's Day."

AEM has been covering the topic of suicidal thoughts and student loan debt since last August. These pieces have received the most comments, and people, who have a lot of guts, have opened up about the pain and suffering they are going through as student loan debtors.

This evening, a woman named Liz shared her thoughts. Here's what she said:

I considered suicide. I know I really don't have a future. I'm aware that the only hope out of this mess is to 'start over' with reincarnation. I have 150k minimum in student loans. I have been looking daily for jobs. Can't believe they don't want a degree'd person to flip burgers. . . Can anyone tell my WHY I'm still not wanted? 
My loans will crush me, and I have no job as to pay the forbearance fees(Sallie Mae fees 150 PER LOAN OUT, Federal is free, Credit Union it depends). 
I've literally decided if I can't get a job by February(That covers Federal, Sallie Mae AND Credit Union loans) I will just kill myself on Valentine's day. . . now how do you make it look like an accident? I've heard "accidental" deaths are more likely to get the loans discharged.
As a graphic designer I am deeply offended that anyone would say I deserve this. I deserve much more then a shitty lie of a life with no future to show for it.

I told Liz, "I know it's not much consolation, but you aren't alone." Please let Liz know that you are rooting for her, and that she needs to hang on. Send her your support. We need people like Liz to survive this crisis. We need to keep on living, so we can share our stories with future generations (hopefully they won't have to endure the misery that so many of us are experiencing).

Related Links


"Suicides and Student Loan Debt," AEM (August 14, 2011)


"Suicide and Murder-Suicides," AEM (Jan 30, 2011)

Debt and Suicide (Radio interview with Shared Sacrifice; originally aired 16 December 2010)

Suicide Among Student Debtors - Who's Thought About It? (17 August 2010)

For The Indentured Class, Suicidal Thoughts Are Not Merely An Individual Problem (22 October 2010)

An Angry Mother Vents (4 October 2010)



Other Related Links:

99ers band together to save a life (27 January 2010)

Suicide Rates Up Since Recession Began, Debt A 'Way of Life' For 99ers (26 July 2010)

Tomgram: Nick Turse, Desperate Times and Desperate Measures (28 January 2009)

The Economic Crisis Is Getting Bloody - Violent Deaths Are Now Following Evictions, Foreclosures, and Job Losses (20 November 2009)







Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Addendum To The Recent Post On Suicide

The subject of suicide must be approached with caution and sensitivity, and I want to make it clear that I am sympathetic to those of you who have struggled with suicidal thoughts.

Suicide has been of interest to me lately, precisely because of the desperate emails I've been receiving from indentured educated citizens. My latest piece entitled, "For the Indentured Educated Class, Suicidal Thoughts Are Not Merely A Personal Problem," received a lot of responses, too. I am also asserting that suicide is not merely related to the psychology of specific individuals (that is, of course, a factor), but reflects a larger societal problem as it directly relates to the student lending crisis. In a word, it has sociological implications, and that's why policy makers ought to be paying attention to the matter.

There is something very important that is missing in this conversation, however. I need to clear that up. Are you aware that death provides no discharge in some private loans, and that your co-signer(s) could still be liable? I don't mean to sound insensitive, but want to make this point. Of course, I think suicide is never the answer, and I've made that clear in previous posts on the subject (for instance, see my comments to readers here). In addition, it may also not be a good decision financially, if that is how you are thinking about it.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Suicidal Debtors: When Hope Is Restored

I receive a lot of suicidal notes from student loan debtors. In fact, I have received so many since 2010, when I posted that simple question (Have you thought about it?), that I eventually received a grant from the Economic Hardship and Reporting Project to write an article about the topic. I have also been cited in numerous scholarly works as a result of my work on the relationship between suicide and student loan debt.

Not all the notes are posted online, some of them land in my inbox.

For instance, in May of 2014, I received the following email from a desperate debtor and war veteran:

Hi, I came across a website tonight that talked about student loan debt and suicide. I am a military veteran and also a person who completed a master's degree in 2012. Since getting my masters degree, I have really struggled with many things. Some of my struggles are related to ptsd from my military service in Iraq but I have found recently my real stress comes from not being able to find a job that pays me a wage that will empower. 

Furthermore, I have been divorced since I came back from Iraq, I was not the same person who went over there. I have been unstable with jobs since then and the jobs I did have I have not been able to make a decent living as I have been in and out of homelessness. In fact, I am writing this email while lying on the floor in the living room of my ex-wife house. :-(

I write this email to you just to say I enjoyed reading your post on that website about student loan debt and suicide. I think  about suicide given my situation. I feel I have nothing anymore and no one loves me. I am alone everyday in my thoughts and physically. I often feel hopeless, but yet have so many dreams and desires about the career I want to work in after having received  my masters degree....

I do not know why I am really sending this email to you. I guess because you mentioned in the comment section to another person who was thinking of suicide that they could email you to discuss things or their thoughts. You seem like a real supportive person and I liked reading  your post on that website.

I do not know if you will even get this email since the post I was reading from you were from back in 2011. I hope my email finds you well. I wish I knew you and had you as a friend. In your written words you seem very understanding and have desire to help. For this, I want to keep pushing forward and not end my life.... However, the pain I have and the depression are still there.

Thank you for being there.

I immediately responded to this individual and told him to seek help. Luckily, he replied the next day and told me he took my advice and did find a doctor for his depression and suicidal thoughts. We stayed in touch, and he sent me a follow-up about his situation somewhat recently. Things are far better for this man, something to keep in mind for those of you who are struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. 

Here are excerpts from a recent email he sent to me [I have not edited anything but have redacted a few things to protect this individual's identity]: 

Hi Cryn,

Thank you for contacting me earlier today. Where should I begin.... A lot of things have changed in my life since that rough night and time period I was enduring when I sent you my initial email. I can't thank you enough for letting me tell you how I was feeling. You were never judgmental and although you were not near me, I felt comfortable to send my message to you. When you gave me encouragement to keep on going and to seek help though the VA, I felt like someone really cared about me and did not want me to take my own life. Even though you were a stranger who I never met, I felt I had a friend in you who cared about my well-being. Up until that point, I felt very alone and had no one in my life I could talk to. I can't thank you enough! If you are ever in Phoenix, AZ, can I meet you in person? I want to hug you. I also want to be your friend, and I consider you my friend. You seem like an amazing woman.  I love how you write. I want to write good too.  You have inspired me to become better. 

Well, I currently have a job and it is going great! I am a Criminal Intelligence Analyst [. . .] What I love most about my job, is it has put me back on the map in a career field that relates to the college education I worked so hard to get and also my past work experience in law enforcement and the military. I enjoy my work and actually excited to go into work. I have not had this feeling in a very long time.

Once I was hired into my present job, I feel it really helped boost my self esteem. Suddenly I did not feel as hopeless as I had prior to being hired. Finally someone gave me a chance. 

I have been receiving treatments for combat service related PTSD at the Phoenix VA Medical Center and it has helped. At least I am not in that dark place I once was in and I am no longer homeless. My goals appear to be in reach once again. 

As for my student loan debt, it is an insane amount I owe the government. Since I have only federal loans, I have requested to enrolled in the income based repayment plan. I am still waiting to hear if I have been enrolled or not. The positive for this is my payments will hopefully be more manageable so I can continue to afford to live and not end up homeless again. My only hope now is to work in public service which I think my job qualifies and work for 10 years and the loans will be forgiven according to a law signed by the President Obama. I am going to try and pursue this because it will be my only hope to have these loans go away. However, I still feel under employed with a masters degree. My masters degree still cost me more than the annual salary I am currently making at my job. I wish the government would do employment market studies on every college degree in the U.S. and determine the employment possibility and what types of jobs are possible for each college major.This information could be used by the government to determine how much student loan amounts they will give to say a criminal justice major based on the amount of jobs available and the amount of salary that can be earned in career fields related to that degree program, which would also determine the students ability to pay the loan back if hired in a related career filed.. If this occurred, maybe student loan debt would not rise so high. If the government would only give so much in loan money depending on a certain degree and the employment and salary prospects for jobs related to that degree, then colleges and universities would have to reduce cost and charge tuition for each major individually based on what the government would lend a student to study. This would solve to problem let s say... XYZ University charges $25K a year for a bachelors degree no matter what your major. It is a blanket dollar amount currently If student loan amounts and borrowing more controlled as I explained above, an Art History major may be able to obtain that degree for little of nothing compared to an electrical engineering degree.  If the government did not lend out loans the way the system currently stands, then colleges and universities would have to curb tuition hikes or have no students.  Just my thought with this debt crisis. I wish I were important enough or had money to get someone in Congress to listen to me and present this idea.. lol

Even with all of my loan debt currently from graduate school, I no longer think about taking my life over it. I don't want to make a permanent decision to a temporary problem. I am going to live my life for the time I have here on Earth whether I have the student debt or I am able to get it paid off or forgiven. 

I have been telling myself this: Things may be rough right now, but there have been some positive changes in my life. At times, it all may seem overwhelming and I get depressed in those moments, but these struggles are not the end of my story. I may be struggling now, bu this is not how my story is going to end. I still have goals and ambition to really be someone and establish myself as a professional. 


Some of these stories have good endings, such as this one. (Some of them, however, do not have good endings, one of which I will share in my book).

Which means, if you are feeling suicidal, please reach out to someone you trust in your immediate circle. Find professional help in your area (many therapists offer services on a sliding scale), or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline below:

1 (800) 273-8255


Sunday, May 1, 2011

Relationships And Your Student Loan Debt

Copyright Notice: If you are not reading this at All Education Matters, and unless I've explicitly given an individual or entity permission to publish my work, this post has been illegally appropriated. Please read original content here.

Has your student loan debt affected your relationships (personal and professional)? Has it affected your own self-worth?

"Golly gee, Jane, you owe $100,000? Well, what do you say about $200,000? Do you still love me? Cuz, well . . . I sure owe a lot more than you."

Related Links



"Mass Suicide?," December 12, 2010

"Suicide," November 25, 2010 


Friday, February 3, 2012

Question: Did you lose a loved one to suicide because of their student loans?

Did you lose a loved one to suicide because they were overwhelmed by their student loan debt? If so, and you're willing to talk about it, please send me an email (ccrynjohannsen@gmail.com). I realize this is an enormously sensitive subject, but if you're willing to share, reach out today.

Also, if you are feeling suicidal because of your loans, please reach out to those you trust. If feel you are a threat to yourself, call 911 immediately. There are also these options:

National Suicide Prevention Line: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Suicide Hotlines by State

Saturday, December 18, 2010

A Former Law Student Confesses: "I think about jumping from the 27th floor of my office building every day."

As most of you know, I am currently working on an article about suicide and student loan debt. Earlier this week, Matt Stannard from Shared Sacrifice interviewed me about the subject.

Since that interview, I've received a few posts from people who have informed me that they fully intend to off themselves (see the most recent comments here and here). As a result of these disturbing posts, I have asked many of you to come out in support of struggling individuals, and tell them that nothing - not even Everest-sized mountains of student loan debt -  ought to lead them to committing suicide. Thanks to all of you who have posted comments of support so far. Trust me, it helps. Several people have told me that if it weren't for me - and others who are raising holy hell about the student lending crisis - they would have killed themselves long ago. So please, if you haven't posted something supportive, think about doing it now. You never know, your own story about feeling similarly could safe a life.

So many people are hurting, and so many people are thinking about killing themselves. These people aren't crazy. Far from it. They are approaching their indebtedness from a rational perspective, and sadly suicide seems like a viable choice. That's not out of the norm. When there are severe economic downturns, people often turn to drastic measures to get out of a  hopeless predicament. Financial ruin leads many healthy people to an early grave, and quite often it's from their own hand. As Barbara Ehrenreich stated quite frankly in an article from 2008 entitled, "Suicide Spreads as One Solution to the Debt Crisis," when people feel backed up against a wall, it's only natural for them to say, "Just shoot me!" At that time, many people who found their homes being repossessed chose to proclaim, "I'll just shoot myself!"

After listening to my interview, a reader let me know that they contemplate jumping from the 27th floor of their work every day

Here's what they wrote:

Cryn, I listened to your interview and cried for hours. I graduated from law school with honors back in 2003 and never found a job as an attorney. I've worked a bunch of odd jobs the last 7 years just to survive. I've been a retail worker, a call center worker, a housekeeper, a dishwasher, and a temp - seriously, it seems like I've been everything except what I went to school for! I know my life is ruined and that I will never be a practicing attorney. I get it, really I do. After all, I'm around attorneys 24/7 in my current job and they look down their noses at me or else just ignore me. I am a loser and no one wants to be around a loser or else they might become one to. I try to remind myself that my life wasn't always like this - that people used to like me and that I had a lot going for me in college and even law school. However, after years of being snubbed and treated so terribly, I have learned to be as invisible as possible and to keep to myself. I'm sure that gives everyone at work a good laugh - then they can say I'm anti-social or not good with people and therefore not attorney material.

I could live without being a practicing attorney but what I can't get over is the fact I ruined my life by borrowing $100,000 to go to law school. I thought I was making a really good investment in myself because I believed in myself back then. I knew I would do well in school, and I guess I thought I would get a job and be able to pay back my loans. How incredibly wrong I turned out to be. Even if I am able to get out of student loan debt, I will be starting over from scratch. Zero savings. Zero retirement. Zero career options.

Every day I think about jumping out the 27th floor window of the office building where I am currently working to escape the mess I have made of my life. I am in so deep now, there is no way out. I used to keep myself up at night thinking about how I would ever pay my student loans off, but now I keep myself up at night, wondering if this is really how the next 30 years of my life will be - always moving from one dead-end job to the next, always being looked down at by attorneys (and even non-attorneys when they find out I'm an attorney but not working as one), always feeling so sick to my stomach that I can't hardly even eat anymore. I used to worry about starving to death if I couldn't afford to buy food if I never found a job, but now I don't have to worry about that because I have no appetite! Maybe I will just wither away and finally be put out of my misery. I really don't think I can keep doing this for another 7 years, let alone the rest of my life. I don't know what to do. While I haven't completely given up, I don't think it's that far around the corner. . .

I'm sorry this is long and depressing, but it's nice to get this all out. I am not asking anyone to forgive my student loans; I fully intend to pay back every last cent I borrowed. I just want to feel like all of my hard work and sacrifice was worth it, instead of always feeling humiliated, embarrassed, ashamed, bitter and angry. I'm so tired of feeling this way - I just want the pain to go away. Thanks for listening. 


As Matt Stannard asked, and I'll reiterate, how many people aren't reaching out to me? How many people will wither away, jump from buildings, or drink themselves to death because of their debt?








Thursday, November 25, 2010

Suicide

I am sending another draft to the New England Journal of Higher Education, and hope they will be interested in this next piece on suicide (they recently published an article I wrote about student loan debtors with health problems). They are a great crew of individuals, and I'm glad that we're forging a positive, working relationship.

I've written a lot about suicide, and have a sad story to share about a father who recently told me that if it weren't for his daughters - who are also indentured educated servants - he'd kill himself. I got pretty choked up by his confession.

In any event, if you are willing to share your story about being suicidal because of your student loan debt, please send me an email (ccrynjohannsen AT gmail.com). Also, if you know of someone who committed suicide as a result of their student loan debt, I'd like to hear your story. All people will remain anonymous.

It is a bleak subject, but it is one that needs to be discussed.

On that rather dark note, I do wish each and everyone of you a happy Thanksgiving. I didn't think we'd be having turkey, but we're getting two from an army base in Seoul. So enjoy this day.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Suicide Among Student Debtors - Who's Thought About It?

There are quite a number of articles about the concern that suicide rates will increase vis-a-vis to the increased number of people who are facing long-term unemployment (here's the most recent one I've come across). But what about those who are struggling to pay their student loans? Here are several more personal questions I have about this highly sensitive topic:

-Have you contemplated suicide because of the amount of student loan debt you owe?

-Have you started engaging in risky behavior (heavy drinking, using drugs, etc.) because of your student loan debt?

-Are you taking medications, such as anti-anxiety pills or anti-depressants, to cope with being an indentured educated citizen?


Sunday, June 17, 2012

National Emergency? Suicidal Student Debtors

The suicidal notes continue to come my way. One man told me that he is planning to kill himself. I have reached out and told him that he can talk to me whenever he likes. I also contacted a fantastic scholar and clinical psychologist, Dr. Peter Kinderman at the University of Liverpool, who has offered to help as well.

If you are suicidal, I urge you to reach out to people you trust (family, friends, a pastor, or a therapist). If you don't wish to do that, seek guidance from organizations like the National Suicide Prevention lifeline (800-273-8255) or visit their website. Avoid the desire to isolate yourself. It is completely understandable to feel this way, especially when you know that you are most likely indebted for life - the feelings of low self-worth are overwhelming, and the desire to leave this life seems rational. However, suicide is not the solution to the crisis. As I've said in past posts, those who love you would be absolutely devastated if you were to take your life. I, as a fellow human being and sympathizer, would be broken up to learn of such deaths.

On a very positive note, last week I was on a teleconference call with Senators Begich (D-AK), Brown (D-OH), and Reed (D-RI). During the call I was able to bring up student loans and suicide. I let them know that the situation is worsening, people are more desperate, and many more are coming to me and admitting that they are suicidal. I told them that this is a "national emergency," and something needs to be done now. That means leaders should not wait until after the elections in November, or, God forbid, 2013.

Senator Mark Begich (D-AK)

There were moments in which I felt very hopeful during the call. Senator Begich thanked me twice for my hard work and reminding them of this harsh reality about people who have already graduated. He assured me that they are aware of the problem and just as concerned about those of us who are struggling to pay back our loans and feeling isolation and suicidal thoughts. Reed also expressed his sympathy and deep concern about the overall situation.

Senator Jack Reed (D-RI)

I was extremely heartened by the conversation.These are some of the very few within Congress who genuinely care about the student lending crisis and those who are buried in debt. Incidentally, Sen. Harkin of Iowa (D-IA) is another leader who has done an excellent job on shedding light on the problem, and he has not been given enough credit for his hard work, especially on his efforts to curb abuses by the for-profits.


Senator Tom Harkin (D-IA)


Senator Brown made an excellent point about how out of control the cost of college has gotten. (And we know this quite well. Since 1985, college tuition has risen by 498%). Brown mentioned his wife during the call. Her father had been a union member and she came form a solid working-class family. He added, "when my wife went to school, she graduated owing $2,000 in student loans." That was 30 years ago. You could sense obvious outrage and frustration in his voice when comparing her story to the situation that young graduates face today.


Senator Sherrod Brown (D-OH)

It is comforting to know that some politicians, like Harkin, Begich, Reed, and Brown truly care about our plight and want to come up with viable solutions. They urged everyone to reach out to their leaders. I call upon all of you to do this once again. Just as the Senators on the phone said, reach out to your leaders at the city, state, and national levels, and insist that they come up with short-term and long-term solutions to bring an end to this crisis. Without our hard-work, these senators wouldn't be able to push for change.




Sunday, December 4, 2011

Debt (The Student Loan Crisis) and Suicide

I've written about and have been researching the relationship between student loan debt and suicide for well over a year. A fellow activist sent me this clip that dramatizes the crisis in a powerful way. Sadly, I heard from a mother recently who told me that her son killed himself in part because of the debt he owed. (More on that later). 

In the meantime, check out this amazing short film. One person commented, "Fuck Sallie Mae!"

***Trigger Warning*** This fictionalized account of someone committing suicide is graphic.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Tuition Gift Registry: EduLender Fundraisers

When it comes to researching the topic of suicide and student loan debt, I find it difficult at times to keep a safe distance from the subjects and their struggles. Only a callous and soulless individual would have the ability to remain unmoved by such stories, and I am no such person.

When I first threw out the question about suicide on August 17, 2010 - 'Who's Thought About it?  - I was quite overwhelmed by the responses. While my work on debt and suicide continues, I want to turn to something more hopeful for a moment. As most of you are aware, I am now the managing editor for a company called EduLender. (I'm presently writing this blog from a hotel in downtown Chicago, and finished three days of work at the office. I will be heading back to Dallas on Sunday, after I am on a panel at Valparaiso University to discuss the student lending crisis with law students in the region. Stay tuned for details on how that goes).

As for EduLender, the company is unique in that it provides an unbiased search engine that helps borrowers identify and compare loan options from 230+ lenders.

Because of my research and writing on AEM, and The Huffington Post, and The New England Journal of Higher Education, etc., etc., I will be hard at work, providing readers with up-to-date analysis on student loan issues on EduTrends.

There's another feature of EduLender, however, that I find absolutely thrilling. That feature is called the tuition gift registry. The name immediately tells you how it works, i.e., pretty much like a gift registry for when you're getting married. Talk about a clever idea!

So, let's say you have a loved one who likes to send you gifts or money for your birthday or on other special days. Instead of doing that, said-awesome-giving-relative-or-friend can help invest in your education. For instance, let's say you have one of those grandmothers who likes to send you money slipped in a birthday card (I had a G-Ma who did that, and I miss her sweet notes and generous cash). You can ask her to contribute to the registry and something that is far more worthwhile: your education. That way grandma can help you finance your degree(s), and you won't waste the money she sent on something useless that will probably end up in the garbage anyway.

As soon as I start talking about this concept, my tone and mood changes.

Of course, I remain focused on insisting that we are experiencing a major crisis, and once we hit that . . . er . . . magic number of $1 trillion in June of 2012, I won't be feeling particularly festive (quite the opposite in fact). So it's nice to see smart ideas coming out of such a mess, and in direct response to it. Not only is this tuition gift registry a smart idea, it is a concrete solution that helps students pay off their student loan debt.

I do grow quite tired of discussing the crisis . . .

We need solutions, and that is why EduLender's tuition gift registry makes me more than just a little bit happy.


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Willing to speak up about suicide for the indentured educated class?

I am in touch with someone at CNN who is interested in my research on suicide and student loan debtors. They want to move forward with this story, but they would like someone to publicly admit that their student loan debt has made them contemplate or attempt suicide. I realize that it's asking a lot, but if you are willing to have the courage to speak out and on television about these feelings, we could get this story on CNN.

If you are willing to discuss it, please let me know ASAP. I can be reached by email (ccrynjohannsen @ gmail DOT com).

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Student Loan Debtor: "[T]he reality is that I think of killing myself all the time"

If you are suicidal, please call: The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

Recently, yet another student loan debtor shared their thoughts about being suicidal, demoralized, and trapped because of their student loans on this post. When I receive these notes, my blood boils as I think about the cold distance that some policymakers in higher ed circles have from this obvious suffering.

The situation has become desperate for many people with student loans. Remember: you are not alone. It is important to remember that fact. And there are ways in which you can organize to fight back. For instance, get involved with Occupy. They are doing great things on this specific issue, especially the Occupy Student Loan Debt Campaign. Since the crisis is based upon enormous systemic problems, we will need to work collectively to come up with long-term and short-term solutions. If policymakers refuse, we will just come up with other options to bring much needed relief to debtors. One way or another, the crisis will come to an end, and that's why agency, collective agency, is crucial.

Here is what's happening to people now, however - this garbage, how we're shackled by these loans, has turned parts of our minds into wasted spaces. Our imagination has been stolen from us. We live in fear now. We are more fearful of the future. We think about our debt all the time. They have stolen time from us - all of our time. Our time now, our time in the future. But when you do this - when you commit the sin of usury - there is a time when it comes to an end. People don't like it when their futures are stolen from them. Those of us who are no longer stuck in this hell of sorts have decided something, too. We're done being enslaved by student loan debt. We're done being pawns in this usurious scheme. We're here to reclaim what rightfully belongs to us: our futures.

But right now, many of us are still struggling with these negative thoughts. These are not our own thoughts - they do not belong to us. They are the thoughts that you have foisted upon the indentured educated class. You have turned many of us into demoralized beings. You have turned many of us into suicidal people. Even so, many of us still have strength. Why? Because we have learned that we are not alone. We have become a collective of debtors, so our singular indebted identity is being lost. Our ranks are growing each day. That is what you are now facing - a collective that has broken free from being atomized by debt.

But we - the indentured educated class - need to get everyone out of the psychological shackles.

Like this person. They are getting there, but they need to be closer than they are. Here's what they wrote:

The general public doesn't understand how crushing and demoralizing student loan debt is. Somehow it's your fault of wanting a better life and doing it in the heavily prescribed manner. I exist and am fortunate to have family that cares, but the debt and unreasonable financial burdens it creates means I don't have a life. I do not have many experiences that make me feel like I have my own life. There is no way out and it forces me into cyclical patterns of depression where the realization of how unmanageable my student loan debt is leads me to think of how corrupt our educational system/government/financial leaders are in order to perpetuate such a cannibalistic system and I feel even less hope for my future and get further depressed. I fight to maintain hope and do a lot of reading to try and stay inspired to succeed but the reality is that I think of killing myself all the time and I don't feel ashamed about it because I think it is a normal response when humans feel that there is absolutely no solution available to them. In fact, the concept of suicide to relieve physical pain is so accepted that it is pervasive in our media (i.e. films) and is even practiced as medicine by some doctors. You can sign an order to not resuscitate and that is socially acceptable. Somehow for the anguish and pain that comes with facing a destitute and hopeless lifestyle when all you wanted to do was improve your life, suicide is not accepted. I could go on .... I wish everyone who is experiencing this crippling pain a quick change of fortune, a miracle, some hope and extend my sympathy. I did my research on my insurance policy, I can leave this place when it gets to be too much for me (probably soon).

I hope this person doesn't leave out of choice or any time soon. I want them to know, I want all of you to know, that you're not alone. We must organize. People are already doing it - get involved, get support, and get organized. We don't need a change of fortune or a miracle. We need to be firmly here, based in reality, and working together to break these damned shackles and ensure that higher education becomes free again.

Indentured educated citizens, unite!
 

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Dying for an Education

I am currently exploring the relationship between suicide and student loan debt. In addition, I recently worked on a piece about a student loan debtor who is also a soldier. That's when I began to think about soldiers who struggle to return to civilian life, and how many of them are also being taken advantage of by the higher education industry.

Thus, a tale of several themes ensues, and is based upon the devastating interconnection of suicide, war, soldiers, student loan debt, and the indentured educated class.

Earlier this week I had a long conversation with Rick Staggenborg, who ran for U.S. Senate as a Progressive in the last election, about these issues. He graciously agreed to weigh in on all of these themes, and also added insights into the reasons for why corporate personhood must be abolished.

Let's hear what Rick had to say about these matters:

As a former VA psychiatrist, part of my job was to help returning veterans adjust to civilian life despite the effects of the psychological trauma of combat. One of the major issues we worked on was the problem of overwhelming anger at the senseless brutality of war. Many had come to understand how they had been used to serve not the nation but the corporate powers upon which our so-called leaders depend for campaign contributions. These were the veterans who have the most difficulty adjusting to their return to a society that has largely ignored the wars. Their sense of betrayal is compounded when they hear the excuse “Well, they volunteered, didn’t they?” 

Although I became reasonably successful at helping them control their justified anger, when ads come on the radio breezily encouraging kids to “serve your community one weekend a month” in the National Guard, I am too angry to listen. In 2000, none of the men and women in the Guard had any reason to believe that they were going to be sent to a God-forsaken desert to risk their lives and too often to take those of others. The Guard’s stated mission has to serve in event of national disaster or to fight in the event of a foreign invasion.  They have never been forced to serve in time of war except in rare circumstances when there was a universal draft and everyone had to face the prospect of going to war.
Members of the National Guard join for a variety of reasons, but most expect to take advantage of the educational benefits these ads promise. Many join expecting to serve their community. Others are former active duty service members serving to advance their careers while they earn a pension. The majority enlist primarily to get an education. For too many of them, it is simply the only job they can find in our devastated economy. Until 2001, none of them could have imagined that they were going to be used in a cynical “war on terror” whose primary purpose was not to defend America but to protect the profits of multinational oil and other corporations that have a financial interest in war itself. Having been used in a cynical effort by our government to run a war on the cheap, they often return home to devastated lives.

While members of the Guard may be less likely to lose their marriages while serving in war than their regular military counterparts, their marriages often do not survive the stresses placed on the family when the warrior returns to civilian life. Despite rules put into place by the government at the beginning of the wars they come home to lost jobs, foreclosed homes, defaults on student loans and children who do not know them. Often, it seems as if even their spouses do not know them. The habits that kept them alive in battle often serve them poorly in their roles as husbands, fathers and members of their communities.  No one serves in combat without being changed in some way. 

Young people often join the military for reasons of patriotism or a sense of family duty to uphold a military tradition. For increasing numbers of others, the only reason to enlist is that they see no other way to build a future for themselves and their families. In a twist of irony or by design, they are given few choices but to serve the interests of those who destroyed their other opportunities.  The costs of America’s economic and military warfare have included sacrificing investment in education and real economic growth. While all of us feel the pain of an economy that increasingly functions to concentrate wealth and power in the hands of an economic elite, none feel it more acutely than those who have risked their lives to defend “the American way.”

While members of the National Guard have been forced to serve multiple combat tours that compound the harm to their families, regular military service members have often served as many as six tours. Even those who are allowed to leave often stay in because they realize that they cannot function in society as they are, that there are no jobs waiting for them and most of all, their sense that they cannot leave their comrades behind to risk their lives for what increasing numbers see as a pointless cause. With little hope, they simply continue their duty as they see it, trying to keep their buddies alive until our so-called leaders come to their senses.

With this background, it is hardly surprising that suicide and murder rates among young vets are at record highs and rising. Having been trained to kill and to suppress their emotional reaction to this soul-searing act, it is difficult to returning to a civilian life that often seems trivial in comparison to the recent experience of making constant life or death decisions. While much is made of suicides and fratricide in the military, it is dwarfed by the extent of violence directed against self and others upon their return. In the field, the soldier has a sense of purpose, even if it is “only” to keep the buddy next to them alive, not for the defense of the nation. At Fort Bliss, Texas, members of one brigade that suffered a single fatality in Iraq during a 2010 tour committed seven suicides and four murders in the year of their return.  

It is little wonder that our youth have incurred severe psychological damage from having answered our government’s call to fight for corporate Empire under the cynical cover of “protecting our freedom.” The predictable result is a loss of trust in the government that put them at constant risk and whose actions claimed the life of the men and women to whom they were often closer than their own families. It is easy to understand why these men and women can give up on the hope of living in a society that honors their sacrifices on behalf of all Americans. This despair is expressed in the increasing levels of violence against themselves and others, most tragically when the victims are the ones who love them the most.


It is not too late to assure that the sacrifices born by this small proportion of Americans are not in vain. If we care about what happens to the veterans of our latest war for Empire, we will join in an effort to assure justice for them and the next generation. We cannot allow our children to be raised as cannon fodder to feed the insatiable lust for wealth and power of what amount to international corporate terrorists. We can heal the wounds in society that have allowed those with no interest in America or Americans to seize control of our government only by a united and determined effort to end this danger to democracy. To do this, we must take control of our own government and make our Congress and President put our interests over those of their corporate patrons. 

Together, we can reverse the trend toward corporate control of our government by fighting to raise awareness of the issue of corporate personhood, the Supreme Court doctrine that holds that corporations have Constitutional rights. Among these is the “right” to pay for the campaigns of their puppets in the Senate under the guise of “free speech.” This is not just another issue to be faced but the one issue that must be resolved before we can expect our government to work for any serious changes that challenge corporate interests.

We owe it to our children to leave the country and the world a better place than we found it. As Jefferson said, the only way to keep a democracy is to maintain an educated citizenry. Having grown up in a much more compassionate and just society that valued the education of its youth, I am ashamed that I did not see what was happening to it earlier and become involved in political activism then.  We cannot afford to sit idly by and watch a small group of dedicated activists do our fighting for us. They cannot succeed any more than can the men and women who were asked to do the impossible for their nation at such a cost to themselves and to their families. As importantly, we owe it to their comrades and others who have given the ultimate sacrifice to ensure that this nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all are created equal, shall not perish from the Earth.


Related Links

 Rick Staggenborg: Oregon Candidate for U.S. Senate

 Soldiers for Peace

 Continued Conversations with Candidates: Rick Staggenborg Discusses Education Reform  

 Conversations with Candidates: Rick Staggenborg 

 For-Profits College Target the Military 

 For-Profit Schools Bank $521 Million Off Veterans' GI Bill Benefits











Thursday, July 26, 2012

NPR Interview - The Story: "Suicide and Student Debt"

 

Guest Host Sean Cole spoke to John Koch and me, as the founder & executive director of All Education Matters, about suicide, student loan debt, and the student lending crisis.

Listen to the podcast here.

Guest Host Sean Cole

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Debt And Suicide: Interview On Shared Sacrifice

Yesterday evening I was interviewed by Matt Stannard at Shared Sacrifice. Our focus was student loan debt and suicide. If you weren't able to tune in last night, you can listen to the recording here.

Thanks again, Matt and Shared Sacrifice!