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I believe that, in many ways, gender is constructed by culture and complex socializing processes. Whether we like it or not, we experience the world through the lens of gender. Moreover, people judge us, respond to us, and interact with us in different ways as a result of our gender. For instance, I have been, and am, treated in both demoralizing and positive ways because I am a woman. We have all had such experiences, regardless of our gender (those who are transgendered, most likely, experience these moments in even more profound ways). Such things, as we're all aware, happen to minorities as well. However, I don't wish to wander off into a cultural studies critique about whether or not gender is a cultural construct. (In saying that, I am not dismissing that type of work and inquiry - far from it). Instead, I want to hear from indentured educated men.
We've heard from different types of women - mothers with indebted children, young women who long to have children but fear they will be unable to make that choice, indebted women with and without families, etc.
Now it's time for the men to speak. What is it like to be an indentured educated man? Are you a father with loads of debt and unemployed or underemployed? Are your children drown in student loan debt, and does that make you feel helpless? Do you wish to have a family, but fear it will never happen because of your student loans? How has it affected your personal relationships?
Support well-researched, cutting edge analysis on the student lending crisis. Donate $10 today.
Related Links
"Indentured Educated Women," AEM (Sept. 3, 2011)
"Pillow Talk for Tuition: Guys Are Doing It Too - They're Seeking Sugar Daddies To Pay Off Their Student Loans!," AEM (Aug. 30, 2011)
"Arianna Huffington, '245,000 College Grads Looking for Sugar Daddies,'" AEM (Aug. 4, 2011)
9 comments:
That's an easy one.
Student loan debt was a major, though not the sole factor, in breaking up my marriage.
I tried to show all that in my Allstate interview story, which can be easily googled if one enters:
"Esquire Painting the Allstate Interview Story"
And I guess one thread of the story is the concept of the man, like Ralph Kramden or Fred Flintstone, or HOmer Simpson, as still "the one" who is supposed to be the breadwinner, which is still alive and well.
"I refused to date 27 year olds who lived in their parents' basements when I was 27."
For some reason, I don't think me saying, "But I'm a lawyer!" would've made any difference.
This is my life. Fucking doomed.
Saw this today. Off topic for this post.
http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/22/living/dorm-rooms/index.html?hpt=hp_c2
I'm 27, and I know it'll be a long time before I can start a family. But I'm still able to get laid (insert male stereotype here), there's enough girls around who don't care about your financial situation.
More than anything, it hurts my pride. I always thought that as an intelligent, hardworking, well-educated male, i would be able to have a real career after I graduated. But I don't, and no one else my age that I know does either. I thought it was my role to be a "breadwinner", and I can't do that, and it's really shameful and embarrassing that apparently the only jobs available for me are very low pay, menial jobs.
And, I know it's sort of nonsense to think this way- just because I'm male doesn't mean I have to have a career, it's just social programming- but nonetheless it's been programmed into me pretty deeply, and it's hard for me to not feel ashamed at how little money I make.
@ 12:25
How are you still able to get laid?
Tips? Advice?
As much detail as possible please.
Thanks.
I'm 34 and I make about $80,000.00 a year (not as a lawyer; thanks, douche-bag faculty and administration of Indiana University!).
Because I owe some $200,000.00 for my (essentially pointless) law degree I live in an unfurnished flat (I'm not exaggerating; I sleep on the floor...) and eat lots of pasta to pay $2,500.00 monthly to service student loans.
I haven't had a date (never mind a relationship or sex) in over two years. The last few times I've interacted with women about the possibility of dating, or dated them once or twice before they discovered my situation, I was flat out told my debt precluded any further interest in me whatsoever.
The system has essentially stripped me of the ability to have relationships or reproduce as surely as if I'd been physically castrated. Remember: I make about $80,000.00 yearly, and as crushing as my debt is, it's not as large as some others' (i.e., I am the lucky one; I expect its more horrifying still for those making little or no money at Wal-Mart or some goad-awful thing and perhaps owing even more.
Once more, for emphasis: Thanks; douche-bag administration & faculty of Indiana University.
Oh dear. Cryn, my wise and good-hearted and heroic friend, you just couldn't resist, could ya.
I mean you've been so indoctrinated - (indoctrinated in SOME ways, irrelevant to AEM's main objective of student loan relief/abolition) - that you were either unwilling or unable to write this post without burning a token pinch of verbal incense to the gods of circa 1990-2011 academic "social science", one of which is the idol of "gender is a social construct."
Seriously, Cryn, why couldn't you just simply ask male student-loan debtors for their stories, without prefacing your request with a politically-correct credo acknowledging the politically empowered idol of "gender as a social construct"?
Why not just keep it simple and say, "As I've written about women's stories of being indentured by student loans, I'd also like to invite men to tell their stories."
Seriously, why did you think/believe you had any serious reason to go out of your way to qualify your invitation with some words about "gender as a social construct", and some ritual words about the "transgendered"?
How many "transgendered" persons are there among your readers and/or allies, REALLY? Not that the number matters, but mutatis mutandis, the consequent question is, as there are only a handful of them (I'd bet my fortune that less than five of your readers are subjectively ambiguous about their gender), well, WHY should you make special efforts to acknowlege the "transgendered"...who are...
...um, who are not all the same category. And this is one of the evils currently being promoted by the elite manufacturers-of-culture, a blurring and confusion between REAL transgendered persons and fake ones who are just confused or perverted.
What do I mean by that? Simple: There are in fact a very small number of persons born (yes "Born This Way") as biological hermaphrodites, not clearly male or female. THEY are TRULY "transgendered"...and they suffer terribly for it...
...which is all the more reason why it's just bloody untruthful, just a lie, just EVIL to pretend that any biological male or female is a "woman in a man's body" (eg Chaz Bono). In other words, to conflate and confuse REAL transgendered persons with confused perverts, TRIVIALISES the sufferings of REAL transgendered persons! (Who are extremely few in number!)
Ah, in conclusion, Cryn, you might ask me, "OWS, why are you going on about this?" Answer: Why did YOU bring it up in the first place, instead of just appealing in a common-sense way to "men" without offering a pinch of ritual incense to the present academic cult of "gender"?
I predict, 500 years from now (after the next Renaissance), the 21st century American "academic" idea of "gender as a social construct" will be laughed at just like 19th century phrenology.
Eh, but otherwise, Cryn, good on ya for your good work! I disagree with your circa 1920-2011 academic superstitions, but I'm always on your side when it comes to social justice!
After my prior two comments, the second of which linked to a neo-Nazi site, I feel obliged to pray, to protect Cryn from any evil consequences from my linking her blog with some evil words of bloody neo-Nazis:
Hail Mary, full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. +
So, Cryn, you know who's side I'm on! ;-)
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