Sunday, April 1, 2012

"Heartwarming" - Brothers move to Oil Patch to pay off student loans

This piece is so heartwarming! Two brothers and their friend moved  to Western New York to find work. The two brothers eventually did and their employers had places with 'man camps' to house them. Before they found housing to work in the oil industry, however, they were all sleeping in a truck. Yup. They were sleeping in their truck, brushing their teeth at a Wal-Mart, and then going to a gym for hot showers. And if you're thinking this sounds reminiscent of the 1930s, you better stop that silly thinkin' - because it's totally different now. Cuz we got iPhones, tablets, and all sorts of amazing technological gadgets. Plus, we don't have Hoover for President, and neoliberal economic policy didn't rule the day back then, and . . . enough with that. The economic climate, again, is totally different than it was back then. So, just stop thinkin' that way!

All of these men have degrees - bunch of silly pants!

Here's the other twist: these two young fellas were silly, because they got degrees! How silly and stupid and ridiculous of them, right?!? One of the brothers has a degree in biology, so it wasn't one of those 'pointless' degrees that people get when studying the liberal arts. Because those people are real idiots! Yup. Those folks who study the humanities are so stupid, because societies don't need people to understand, oh, I don't know, the role of ethics, what it means to have good government vs. bad government, how historical events and historical thought influence current trends, etc. Nah, that stuff is just dumb and utterly pointless. So, again, if you got a degree in the liberal arts, you're just a big ol' dummy. And you deserve all your debt and to suffer. So, too bad for you. But this guy, who got his degree in biology, is now workin' at an oil field. So, I am thinking . . . maybe we should start blasting young folks who want to study biology? Maybe we should calling them idiots, too? Whaddya think?

This guy was a total idiot!

Oh, and the other brother has an associate's degree. So, here again, I think we ought to start criticizing people who decided or decide to get associate's degrees. I mean, that's probably just as dumb as getting a degree in the liberal arts, right?!? Yeah, I bet it is. Again, if there is no market value for a degree - and that's how every damned person has been brainwashed to think about this stuff - than it's worthless. Plain and simple as that. Moving on . . .

Here's a philological moron

Bottom line: the debtors are at fault. Yup. It has nothing to do with a failing system, and the fact that our government invests far more in the defense industry than in education. And these legalized loans sharks, they aren't to blame. Nope, it's the borrowers who are to blame, because they were all dumb enough to believe that they should go to college. I mean, NOBODY hears that, right?!? I mean, no one in this country is told from DAY ONE to go to college for a better life. Nope. That isn't ingrained in us at all. All these people who go to college, well, they decided to do it because they live in a vacuum. Society hasn't told them over and over and over and over and over again to go to college for a better life! That's just crazy talk. They went because they're entitled and they think they're better than everybody else. Well, look at what has happened to all of them! Who are the suckers now?!? It's the idiots who went to college or grad school or law school! So there! Y'all are the idiots! Joke is on you, because you gots all this eduMacation and now you're living with your parents and are indebted for life. Hahaha. And again, remember, NOBODY drilled it into your head to go to college. NOBODY whispered that to you while you fell asleep as a little kid. NOBODY told you to go to college when you were in elementary school. NOBODY told you to go to college when you were in middle school. And I am damned sure NOBODY told you to go to college in high school. Oh, and I know that 'experts' and the mass media and all those outlets NEVER portrayed college in a positive way. So, it was all in your head. You were the fool to think that college was a good choice.

 Meanwhile 'experts' - more like industry hacks - keep telling us that college is a good investment. Uh, do these people get that term? It's not an investment when you are taking out loans. That's not how an investment works. I mean, if it's an investment, then why can't somebody go to some company on Wall Street and say, "hey, I really want to invest in these stocks, because I think they'll eventually have value. But here's the thing . . . I don't got the money, not just yet, but I just know, I just know, fella, that this stock will be real valuable. So, can you spare me, say, $100,000 now? It's an investment in my future, cuz I just know this stock is gonna be real valuable in the future!"

But you know what's great about the tale of these two brothers and their new 'adventure?' They both work 80 hours a week!!! That's it! Just a mere 80 hours a week.  What slackers. Even funnier, the article claims that it's not all work. They are havin' fun too! Of course, I'm not sure how you can have much fun when you're living in a man camp and working like a dog. But, you know, that's just me.

Here's to the new American Dream!!! Go work in oil fields to pay off student loan debt! Golly. And here I had been thinking the American Dream was dead. Boy, oh, boy, was I wrong.
This goats works over 120 hours a week

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are my hero! Please, keep doing what you're doing!