tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post7090658228481463334..comments2023-10-30T05:28:11.795-04:00Comments on All Education Matters: Suicide Among Student Debtors - Who's Thought About It?Cryn Johannsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08452412213997621242noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-52951469392726385672016-05-26T20:09:53.414-04:002016-05-26T20:09:53.414-04:00I feel everyone's pain. I have had to ask my f...I feel everyone's pain. I have had to ask my family for help, and it is unbearable. My parents are narcissistic and abusive. So, every time I have to ask, it comes with a price. It's funny though: my "family's careers" basically support poisoning the nation and writing patents for technology that will poison our children (I can't have children because of how poisoned I was growing up). Yes, I made ONE mistake of racking up debt, but there are unimaginable horrors occurring in the world that barely come close to how much we "debtors" have "fucked up". This has turned into one large concentration camp! Suicide is not natural: it is the death urge transferred from these people who make us feel like shit. In reality, they're the ones who have extreme self hatred. I was tricked and abandoned at a young age, and due to this I couldn't finish school because of traumas, PTSD, mental breakdowns. Finally, I realized what the hell had happened, and it's really not our fault. THE COUNTRY IS IN WAY MORE DEBT THAN WE ARE. THE PROBLEM IS WITH THE SYSTEM. We should be more worried about future generations and saving them from what can only be an even worse despair: how expensive it will be for them! It will be WORSE! The only things that helped me survive the guilt and shame is 1. Educate yourself on what is actually going on in the world, there is a lot of propaganda swarming around lenders in general (OUR COUNTRY WAS BASED ON CREDIT LOANS!!!!). 2. I am trying to share my story through fiction and nonfiction. You guys ever read Invitation to the Game by Monica Hughes? I read that in SIXTH GRADE and I should have remembered what the message was: JOBLESS SOCIETIES WITH NO MONEY FOR THE IMPOVERISHED. (sorry to write in all caps, but this whole debt bullshit is insane). My brother receives no shame although he carries three times as much debt as me but snagged a job at a law firm. "HE CAN PAY IT OFF." But some of you are saying that you would make a lot and still not be able to? What the hell has happened???? That's awful and shouldn't have happened? If I had known, I would have never went to college and would have happily worked at Taco Bell or Walmart! Poor generations forward. I feel so sorry for them. What a mess.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-50821441028326621762016-05-18T16:12:14.106-04:002016-05-18T16:12:14.106-04:00I have 90k in student loan debt and have been unde...I have 90k in student loan debt and have been underemployed and/or unemployed for the 7 years since I graduated. I contemplate suicide regularly but I guess I won't do it because I don't want to hurt my family. Two of my loans are private and cosigned so if I killed myself I would stick that person with a mound of debt as well. That would be totally unfair. I can't afford to have a family or children. The depression from this has spread and affected all areas of my life. I'm in my early 30s and still have no career, just a lot of time wasted and a lot of debt. I'm going to keep trying and if/when I get a decent job I'm going to live on nothing and pay everything to debt. I see no other option.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-51105383458314499592015-10-06T11:08:00.876-04:002015-10-06T11:08:00.876-04:00Since you're suicidal, you need to get help im...Since you're suicidal, you need to get help immediately. That level of depression is caused by a biochemical imbalance that is best treated by professionals in the medical field. Go to the E.R. or call 9-1-1 or set up an appointment with a psychiatrist today, please. Invite someone take you if you don't think you can go alone, but go. The problem is physical.<br /><br />We empathize with your basic frustration and anger, as debt is the American way. Lots of grads (especially Law and Med) have student loan debt. When we're mentally healthy, we find healthy ways to cope with that problem. It's a tough problem, admittedly. Depression is anger turned inward, so I'm glad you expressed your anger outwardly on this blog. It shows you want to be healthy. Kudos for you!<br /><br />Seek professional help for the suicidal thoughts now, especially if you already created a plan.<br /><br />Much love and big hugs to you.<br />LawGradhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06342797069617463080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-91587831532284924602015-10-06T10:54:02.377-04:002015-10-06T10:54:02.377-04:00I understand, and thank you for sharing your feeli...I understand, and thank you for sharing your feelings. Your basic frustrastion and anger are shared by many Law school grads.<br />If you're suicidal though, call 9-1-1 or go to the E.R. The more serious levels of depression (e.g., having a suicide attempt planned out) are almost always caused by a biochemical imbalance. Proper treatment would restore you to balanced living. At which time, you will see clearly enough to explore your career options. Your career options include loan forgiveness by working for a legal non-profit, going back to school and getting a different degree (during which time the loan sharks have to give you some space), and . . . You alone will see what's best for You as far as a career path goes, but You do need immediate help addressing the depression. Please get help.LawGradhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06342797069617463080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-5460788831851464292015-08-22T20:58:15.969-04:002015-08-22T20:58:15.969-04:00@August 22 8:36 pm - is there anyway we can change...@August 22 8:36 pm - is there anyway we can change convince you that this plan is a bad one? Your family will never recover from losing you. You are valuable.<br /><br />-CrynCryn Johannsenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08452412213997621242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-86096314690819529042015-08-22T20:36:01.225-04:002015-08-22T20:36:01.225-04:00I am planning on killing myself because of my stud...I am planning on killing myself because of my student debt. I owe over 70K and don't even have an undergraduate degree to show for it - I maxed out on government subsidized loans and cannot take out private loans because I had to file for bankruptcy. I'm 10 classes short of my bachelor's degree but have no way to pay for it. So that 70K in debt that I have is all for nothing. Trying to get a college degree was THE worst mistake of my life, and I have no one to blame but myself. Nonetheless, I cannot agree to a lifetime of debt slavery.<br /><br />I've taken out a life insurance policy to at least leave some money behind for my family. Thankfully, I live in a state that has a law which requires all insurance companies to pay the full death benefit even in cases of suicide, as long as the policy has been in effect for one year. I have a complete plan in place, and my intention is to do it in such a way that my organs are viable for donation. I hope and pray that I manage to pull it off so that my life wasn't a complete waste.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-9850232757972540612015-08-20T20:12:13.814-04:002015-08-20T20:12:13.814-04:00to the people saying "why not file bankruptcy...to the people saying "why not file bankruptcy" we CANT. Private student loans are freaking protected. I am 26 trying to live life and i CANT. i work full time at a big 10 university doing research and have next to nothing after paying my BILLS. I am 26- i should be able to live on my own and travel and get married and have kids- but i cant sustain that! I am 80K in undergrad student loan debt. My private student loan borrower want $650 a month from me. Clearly i dont have anything close to that & they do NOT care. i am on antidepression meds. I stopped them because i hate being on meds, but started again today- when my loans defaulted. The defaulted and have no given me any options. what furiates me is an un-employed person on government assistance is living better then me. I applied and got denied- but cant even afford a gallon of milk! HOW is this possible?!!? Suicide isnt an option, only because i could never have my love go through that. I hate that they have to deal with my depression and anxiety and not even begin to understanding the exhausting weight/ mental pain. My mom things in being over reactive just because its not "physical pain" or "your not the only one going thru this loan debt". I have 0 options in getting out of default besides paying (which i have 0 for). I dont know what they want from me. I have never gotten a speeding ticket in my life and try to be this nice person- for what? to get fucked over and be absolutely miserable. I think i need to go back to the doctors for more meds or therapy- but i cant fucking afford it- so im not sure what to do. I feel hopeless- i feel like im not living life-Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-14811692381844992002015-05-13T15:09:42.451-04:002015-05-13T15:09:42.451-04:00@May 13 - If you are suicidal, please reach out to...@May 13 - If you are suicidal, please reach out to a friend or family member you trust. I urge you to talk about your feelings with someone. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, please call the suicide hotline (1 (800) 273-8255). <br /><br />Your debt is NOT worth your life. Nothing is worth your life. I don't even know you but if you did this - took your life - I'd be devastated. <br /><br />-Cryn<br /><br />P.S. You can also email me, too, if you just want to share your story. My email is ccrynjohannsen AT gmail (DOT) com.Cryn Johannsenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08452412213997621242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-85922343001745512015-05-13T14:44:22.853-04:002015-05-13T14:44:22.853-04:00Yes. I'm not even done with school and my loan...Yes. I'm not even done with school and my loan amounts are small in comparison to others, but I'm actively debating this if I get to the point where my student loans become too large to continue schooling. <br /><br />I've thought about going to Washington D.C. and shooting myself in the head in front of the White House in order to make a statement about all of this. Hell, I'd even give some of the news channels advance notice and leave a nice little letter on my body to make sure that people are aware that this is why I'm doing this. Odds are I'll just be ignored like my attempts to get financial help have been so far. <br /><br />I just got life insurance, so I have to wait a few years to do this since if I do this within 2-5 years of getting the insurance it will be denied. It will coincide nicely with the end of my degree, assuming I can get at least enough assistance to complete it. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-43098399770033455782015-04-15T00:06:11.344-04:002015-04-15T00:06:11.344-04:00I cry every single day because of the disaster tha...I cry every single day because of the disaster that I have made out of my life. I believe that my life is over and I see never ending sorrow for the rest of my life. Therefore if I died the sorrow and pain would end. But my children, my husband and my mom would be hurt and I can't hurt them anymore then they have been. So I go on day by day in utter saddness and despair. Yes I am on antidepressants but they don't work. There is no pill that can fix my life. It's like I don't believe that there is any hope in trying anymore. I really identify with the lawyer who was not able to get a job as a lawyer but has to work in an environment with lawyers. The humiliation, shame, embarrassment and loss of self esteem. I was a nurse before I went to medical school. I did very well in medical school. I was a strong internal medicine resident before I was severely bullied and resigned from that program. I was blacklisted and I am not able to get into another program, to make a long story short. The situation is that I am working as a nurse now. It's awkard. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I can't talk about myself even in simple friendly conversations. I feel overwhelmingly ashamed. To make matters worse, I have 465,000 in student loan debt. 165,000 of it are private student loans. I feel alone in my pain. I thought there is no one in this world like me. Who is a MD who has to work as a RN? No damn person in this world is, that's who. I am terribly alone and ashamed. I go to work and provide the best nursing care that I ever have, with a lovely caring smile, holding on to it with all my might as a function of survival. But inside my now morbid mind, I am dead already. Dead in my soul and mind. I gave up everything I had to go to medical school. There is nothing in this world that I can do to replace that. Do what you love and that is what you will be good at, right? It's so true. And to make it even more painful, I sometimes help doctors who clearly are not that good at it. How ironic. But, I just keep my head down and make sure I am doing my nursing job well. Sometimes I get to chat with a doctor who knows that I am MD and talks MD language with me. But then again, it's weird right? yes it is. I was going to be a really good hospitalist. But not anymore!!! Now I'm all messed up in the head, with Complex PTSD. The trauma is worse when it is intentionally inflicted by others. And I feel so much anger toward every program who did not give me a chance and for every program in the future who will continue to overlook me. I have read about other suicide fantasies. I was afraid to express mine to even my therapist because I dont want to get falsely placed on a 5150. Its only a fantasy that I will never carry out, but I imagine going back to my forner program directors office and putting a bullet in my head right there in his office in front of him. Maybe then someone will see me. Maybe all those programs will then say hey 'we would have given her a spot' to save her life. To cure her of her pain and suffering, my God people, have you any humanity? And maybe it will shed some light on the corrupt politics in that program and someone will want to know what happened to me there. No one knows how bad I am affected, the consequences of my life, my family, the suffering. This is the first time in my life that my success is totally dependent upon what other people decide to do. I cannot work harder in order to achieve my goal, which is what always kept me going in the past. I always worked hard. It doesnt matter anymore, why bother. I need to find others like me. The lawyers who have to work around other lawyers but not as a lawyer. This blog helped me as I read so many other stories about feeling trapped with no way out. Somehow not being alone helps. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-12436300236014486692015-02-25T12:33:22.441-05:002015-02-25T12:33:22.441-05:00I think about it periodically. I thought about it...I think about it periodically. I thought about it more when my bank offered me a cheap life insurance plan that could be enough to cover my debts and funeral, even post-tax. Did some research and there's generally a two-year period after you sign up where suicides don't yield life insurance.<br /><br />Thought about *that* for long enough that the cheap offer expired, so hopefully I won't get hit by a bus.<br /><br />My husband and I make enough money to pay our loans, but that's mostly as a result of his income and in spite of my debt. I swore growing up to not be financially dependent on anyone, but here we are.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-65577048168107491852014-09-09T01:57:50.533-04:002014-09-09T01:57:50.533-04:00Yes. Every day. The only thing that keeps me from ...Yes. Every day. The only thing that keeps me from doing so is because then my parents would have to keep paying my loans after I was dead.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-60772910305360132952014-08-21T02:34:46.072-04:002014-08-21T02:34:46.072-04:00It is really interesting post. I never read such k...It is really interesting post. I never read such kind of post. It impressed me. Thanks for sharing…Certificate of Debtor Educationhttp://debtoreducationcourse.net/post-bankruptcy-counseling/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-89509370053862237942013-07-05T19:36:09.593-04:002013-07-05T19:36:09.593-04:00According to Freudian theories, suicide is "m...According to Freudian theories, suicide is "murder in the 180th degree." As the years drag on and student loan debtors continue to get no relief or recourse from the powers that be, I can't help but wonder if someday things will escalate to murder suicides and mass shootings at some of these lending agencies.Tiffany Gholarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12979768952670661700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-81636774214291153342013-06-20T07:12:24.142-04:002013-06-20T07:12:24.142-04:00In September, I'm starting my "bright col...In September, I'm starting my "bright college career" at UCLA. The tuition there is about 12K and housing is about 14K. Coupled with extra fees, the total cost of attendance is about 32K. My parents make just over 100K and we are supposedly able to dish out a third of our income every year for four years. They, whoever it is that decides who deserves grant money, don't realize that my parents have a new mortgage, a new auto loan, a crap credit score, and no back up plan. Scholarships dismiss me and the government has left me hanging. I've always known that I would have to live with debt. I've known exactly how much it takes to graduate from university ever since I could remember. It has consumed my life. It is a matter of pride, survival, and longing that I cannot escape. My father exasperates things when he treats my potential debt as a leash. When I turned eighteen, he came into my room and said "You need to get a job and you need to figure out how to get 32K by July of this year." Those were not his exact words. The smokes made it sound that way in his head, I'm sure. I don't know how to get 32K ready any more than the next guy. I'd been cutting for years prior to this, but this year really made it hit home. My scars, however, aren't visible. I gouge, rather than cut. I use push pins, mechanical pencils, crochet needles, safety pins, and even the occasional paper clip-anything that is nearby while my dad rattles off debt after debt. The method doesn't scar as conspicuously and the marks left behind resemble burns. Burns are easy to explain. There is no blood to clean up, only the pain to keep hidden away. They are localized to my left arm that is already conveniently disfigured and nobody suspects a thing. I call it "the smart cutter". I don't even know what college is like or how anything works. I only know the numbers and that they hurt. Wanting so bad to know what college is-what it is that I've spent all this time working towards-hurts even more because I don't know if I can stick it out for that long. When I hurt myself, the debt seems so far away, a welcome distraction. It reminds me that real pain like the kind that I inflict upon myself is much closer and much worse than the abstract pain that is inflicted upon me by my emotions and I can go on for a few more days. Other people are endureing this "real" pain and have better reasons to off themselves. Recently, however, suicide has been looking more and more like a viable option. It feels like the logical next step. If things don't pan out and I default on my loans and this whole shitty journey wasn't worth anything, why keep it up? I know how I'd do it and I know how to prevent failure at all costs. Suicide is illegal where I come from and I can't afford to fail. More debt, however, just doesn't solve the problem. It's funny, really, I try to kill myself over student loan debt and the state just screws me over again with criminal charges, which, just makes me want to try again. A part of me just wants to end it now so that I'll die with the satisfaction that I got in to college in the first place-before the loans are ever approved. I hate the way this country handles education. It may be free for the first twelve years, but it drops you off a cliff if you really want to make something of yourself. The worst part of it all is that I'm too smart to admit that I'm ready to break. Cutting just isn't "intelligent" behavior. It's not the correct way to solve your problems. I lost that battle with myself six years ago when I told myself that the only way I'd be able to sleep at night and hold my head up in the morning is if I hurt myself and kept it to myself. I'll see how the next few months go and decide for myself if I'm going to make it to the other side. I need to get out of my head.-AnonAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-80904056487181996852013-03-25T17:45:47.717-04:002013-03-25T17:45:47.717-04:00250000 in debt from optometry school and undergrad...250000 in debt from optometry school and undergraduate. Had an episode of panic attack last month and now for the first time in my life diagnosed with depression taking Xanax and antidepressants. Every morning I think about the increasing interest on my loan of 1500 a month I make about 4250 post tax a month. Everyday I think about suicide the only thing holding me back are my parents who will be completely devastated and I just dont want them to go through that. However the daily pain I feel is becoming unbearable I can't function normally and have already lost 15 lbs this month. I think about going to the shooting range or driving off a cliff everyday it's a very sad situation to be in. Lets hope we all make it through.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-46801960103551215182013-03-25T17:44:02.837-04:002013-03-25T17:44:02.837-04:00250000 in debt from optometry school and undergrad...250000 in debt from optometry school and undergraduate. Had an episode of panic attack last month and now for the first time in my life diagnosed with depression taking Xanax and antidepressants. Every morning I think about the increasing interest on my loan of 1500 a month I make about 4250 post tax a month. Everyday I think about suicide the only thing holding me back are my parents who will be completely devastated and I just dont want them to go through that. However the daily pain I feel is becoming unbearable I can't function normally and have already lost 15 lbs this month. I think about going to the shooting range or driving off a cliff everyday it's a very sad situation to be in. Lets hope we all make it through. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-49043170225272631632012-07-18T17:45:24.467-04:002012-07-18T17:45:24.467-04:00when you know you'll never be able to pay of d...when you know you'll never be able to pay of debt even with 5 lifetimes, its hard not to want to die.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-89940214732094636312012-07-10T01:50:50.077-04:002012-07-10T01:50:50.077-04:00$220,000 in debt. No job prospects. No doubt in my...$220,000 in debt. No job prospects. No doubt in my mind what will happen if I keep getting bills for $3000 a monthAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-48511116298064710592012-07-05T02:26:52.615-04:002012-07-05T02:26:52.615-04:00Many many times... but incredibly much more since ...Many many times... but incredibly much more since 2008. I was just getting to paying down student loans and then shit happened. I graduated in 2005 in my 30s after many part-time years in school while working and no support from anyone. Finally had a nice position, a nice career in my life. Finally had some breathing room for bills, managing things. Living a decent life, getting to the rest of the long ago neglected areas of my life before the 2nd Great Depression took it all way. <br /><br />I try to have hope and work through this, but its been so many years and student loans are breathing down my neck again. I never recovered financially. I just can't get by on minimum wage, I need to get out on my own again. And Yes by that I mean supporting myself and not with relatives. I'm an adult not someone trying to work at burger king.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-18864903299291755232012-07-02T10:54:41.958-04:002012-07-02T10:54:41.958-04:00Well. Here's my story...
I was one of those ...Well. Here's my story...<br /><br />I was one of those people who fell into The Hole. By The Hole, I mean that ridiculous situation where my parents made JUST enough money for me not to qualify for the scholarships that lower-income students receive, but not enough to actually help me with college whatsoever.<br /><br />And then...I got into an Ivy League school and I couldn't turn it down. I recognize that it was my decision to go, and that I could have attended my state school for much less (possibily even for free). But when you are 18 years old and you have the chance to go to a famous place like that, it seems absolutely worth it. I have $100,000 from undergrad, which has grown to about $120,000.<br /><br />I'm starting medical school (M.D.) in a month. By the time I finish medical school I will have approximately $350,000 in debt. (For anyone who is wondering, I DID NOT fall into the prestige trap again. As soon as I was admitted to my state medical school, I withdrew my application everywhere else). Medical school tuition, even for in-staters, is 35K a year. Then you have to add living expenses on top of that.<br /><br />Yes, I realize that I am one of the lucky ones. I probably won't have a job that pays less than 200K a year. I'll eventually get out from under the cloud. But I won't actually be making that salary for another 10 years. I am actually considering getting a job while in medical school (which seems insane) so I can make interest payments on my current loans. Right now I work a minimum-wage job and have most of my loans in deferment...I pay about $400/month on the private loans I owe. <br /><br />Before I got accepted to medical school (and believe me, I actually sobbed the day I got my letter), I thought occasionally about suicide. I am on a high dose of antidepressants. I isolated myself from my friends and family because I couldn't bear to answer the question , "So what do you do?" ...especially after graduating with good grades from the Ivy League. I constantly, constantly labeled myself as a failure. I took sleeping pills every night for two years. <br /><br />When I hear proponents of Obamacare on the radio shouting that 'the rich doctors should get paid less', I want to scream. The rich doctors? With 350K in debt? That is the scariest thing on my horizon....if they decide to cut my salary, I am totally screwed. I think the cost of education in this country is disgusting.<br /><br />Send me good vibes.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-23618644694854120602012-04-28T17:44:44.095-04:002012-04-28T17:44:44.095-04:00To be honest I don't want to live anymore. I f...To be honest I don't want to live anymore. I found myself at times waking up saying "God damn it, I'm still alive." Sometimes I fantasize about how I can make a suicide look like an accident so my family won't have to know that I killed myself over student loan debt. I have gotten emotional help but no matter how many meds they prescribe me I still have the feeling to kill myself. I come from a low income family and no matter if i am granted deferments or forbearance I am still gonna have to pay more plus interest and I don't want to live with that my life is already difficult as it is. I just want to just drop dead and I may do that myself I just don't know how. I just don't know what to do anymore. I am 19 I am too young to feel like this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-23998477063734938012012-04-27T09:34:08.462-04:002012-04-27T09:34:08.462-04:00I think about it all the time. I don't want t...I think about it all the time. I don't want to be a burden on anyone. My loans were $60,000 but since I defaulted on them they are now $180,000. I don't know how that is even legal for the gov't to do but they have. I don't even make $13.00 an hour working in social services. I can never pay that amount back with how much I earn. My loans defaulted because I ended up in a very abusive marriage with man who ended up getting addicted to crack and alcohol. I was barely surviving and I was afraid to leave but I finally did and tried to make things right with my loans but it was too late. And they don't care that I was raped and abused by this man and was afraid to breathe yet leave him but I got brave and left. I want to pay my loans and all other bills but I am ready to give up. I am so afraid. I think about suicide all the time because I don't want to be a burden or a failure. I want to have hopes and dreams and a reason to live and to be happy. I want to believe that there is hope for a better tomorrow and that somehow I can fix my life but I don't think there I can. I believe that I have a terminal illness in the form of student loans and death is the only way to ease my pain and to keep from being a burden on others. I take meds for depression and to help me sleep but they don't help much. The only reason I haven't killed myself is because I don't really want to die. I just want my life back and to not live in shame anymore.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-88806470994979278452012-02-14T01:16:30.181-05:002012-02-14T01:16:30.181-05:00I have definitely contemplated suicide. I have $1...I have definitely contemplated suicide. I have $130,000 of debt for a grad degree (not law) that I'm afraid I won't be able to finish, and I honestly can't see any way out from under it. What makes it particularly painful is that I desperately wanted to go to medical school and do some good in the world, but am in far too much debt to ever get there now it looks like (and btw, this particular degree was NOT worth the cost). :( I don't smoke, and if I could afford to drink I would do it much, much more. No drugs yet (legal or otherwise).<br /><br />I tell everyone I meet that unless they want to never be able to afford their own house, to feed their family, or to have any financial peace of mind, they should run screaming from any form of student loan-financed education. Wish someone had told me that. :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3481083477379506990.post-37854746764132748152011-06-09T00:29:58.171-04:002011-06-09T00:29:58.171-04:00College debt is as depressing as hell. Every time...College debt is as depressing as hell. Every time I get depressed I sit down and write out a very creative letter with every letter imaginable and send if off to the ED or my former college or the president and then I feel much better.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com